First Draft Feedback

Hello Social Networkers,

Below you'll find feedback on the first draft of your final project. Our hope is that you will use this feedback as you continue working on your project, as your first draft becomes a final draft, due Monday, July 30. For this final draft, your project should be mostly (if not entirely) complete, since you will only have a couple of days to use final draft feedback to submit your final project by Thursday, August 2. So this next week is of particular importance for your project.

I'll organize these comments, based on my input and Nick's input, around the five broad sections of your project (Introduction; Social and Cultural Changes and Contextual Factors; Digital Technologies and Their Uses; Educational Opportunities and Possibilities with Social Networking; and Educational Challenges with Social Networking). I will also have a section for general comments pertaining to the project as a whole. If you have any questions or comments about this feedback, you can leave comments on your blog under this entry, or you can email me at thibert2@uiuc.edu.

I hope you find this feedback helpful!
Jeff (and Nick)

The Evaluation Questions:
1. What are the wider social and cultural changes that are entailed by this trend? In other words, these trends don’t emerge in a vacuum, and they often reflect other social and cultural changes as well. What are some of the major contextual factors giving rise to this trend?
2. How are new digital technologies, and their uses, affecting and affected by this trend?
3. What are the educational opportunities and challenges arising from these developments?

Nick's Input...Much of this is mirrored in what I've said below, but to save time, rather than try to integrate his comments into mine, I'm just going to put them up front:
“Contextual Factors” -- just a list, please say more.

“Pre-Technology Age” has there ever been a (human) pre-technology age or just DIFFERENT technologies? (cave paintings, etc)

Other social factors – mobility, changes in neighborhoods. See Putnam, “Bowling Alone.” Are people HUNGRY for something online SN provides?

“Early Technology Age”—order of these sections?

Some of these sections are just lists of technologies/methods, describing what they are, but not how they are being used and the difference they make.

This is also a concern with the Educational Opportunities and Possibilities section. This is a key section, please say more.

Educational challenges. Better, but needs more. What about effects on privacy – or more precisely, changing views in what is or should be “private”? Young people particularly are putting all sorts of things out there, without worry – that adults would never do. Is this a positive change, a danger, or both?

Introduction
I assume this will be filled out nearer to the end of the project. (I often write my introduction last as well.) I'd suggest that you use the introduction, when it's completed, to do three things: 1) Concisely introduce the concept of social networking--give a brief definition. 2) Explain why the wiki is organized the way it is. What are the main questions you're addressing? What is each section going to do? 3) Offer a 'thesis' for your project. What general stance are you taking towards social networking here? What argumentative thread is woven throughout the project? Overall, try to use the introduction so that the reader has a clear idea of what you're trying to do, how you're trying to do it, and what point you're trying to make. This will frame your project and give you a chance to provide some cohesion for a fairly large amount of information.

Social and Cultural Changes and Contextual Factors
--Is changing communication style what you want to lead with here? You might choose to describe these Changes and Factors from least important to most important, or from most important to least important, but there should be a plan for how you present them. Also, consider giving each section of your wiki an introduction, since each section is so complex. (See my comments for the General Introduction--you can offer a what/how/what point for each section of your wiki.)
--How do you think the importance of visual/iconic representation connects to social networking? Could social networking not take place in the absence of images?
--I'd say that emphasis on individuality is a social/economic/cultural pattern. Would you? Here's a place where you might fold one section into another, or do a bit of reorganization.
--Note that in this first completed section, "Emphasis on Individuality," you start talking about social networking without really having introduced it (I assume this will happen in the Introduction). Also, and this holds throughout the wiki, when you say something like "personal profile"--when you're using terms the meaning of which might not be immediately clear to a reader approaching this topic for the first time--you might offer an example (or a LINK to an example--one of the benefits of wikis) of what you mean.
--The information you give in the "Individuality" section is well-cited. I like how you have links to the actual sources--I'd consider doing this throughout the wiki, since (again) this is one of the benefits of using a wiki format here.
--Are there alternative views on the points made in the "Individuality" section? Might you challenge some of the claims here? For example, Boyd makes a sort of dichotomy between Facebook users and MySpace users, but I know a lot of people who are on both, especially since Facebook has expanded its reach beyond colleges to include high schools and geographical networks. You no longer have to be in school to be on Facebook. Do you think Boyd is right here? Also, more generally, while social networking sites might result from an emphasis on individuality, the 'networking' element implies that people are trying to get connected. Most people I know who use these sites use them to connect (or reconnect) to others. People initially meet in person, but then develop a relationship over MySpace. Or people use MySpace to search for old high school friends. Or they use these sites to find people with similar interests and tastes. People might be making their profiles to showcase their individuality, of course, but there's also a community element here, so it seems we could just as easily give "Emphasis on Community-Building" as a factor. Perhaps increased individuality in some aspects of life has led people to turn to the internet to form the community they aren't finding in their neighborhoods, or at their workplaces.
--I might not go into as much detail about each section as I just did, but I hope you see what I'm getting at here. It's important to offer a critical evaluation of the information you're presenting. We're not just compiling sources here, like a sort of literature review, though this is part of it. We're seeing what's out there about social networking and then reflecting on that information to come to some kind of position on the topic. So you might present information that supports individuality, information that supports community-building (even if this comes from your own thinking on the topic), and then the position you take based on that information.
--The Access section is not yet complete. This is certainly a factor, but does it make sense for it to come right after individuality and right before security? Remember that there should be a 'flow' to the wiki--you should be able to explain (probably in an introduction) why you've set it up the way you have. Perhaps you choose to set it up with no 'flow' at all in some sections, but this should be a considered choice that you can explain.
--In the Security section, you've got a good overview here...you might say more, though, about what those measures you present at the end are trying to do. What kinds of laws are being enacted? What kind of education is being tried? Are there legal issues here? (One of the articles we're reading for class talks a bit about this.)
--Throughout, it's important to remember that MySpace and Facebook are not the only kinds of social networking. I think you recognize this, but other sources of social networking might include games, virtual environments like Second Life, discussion forums, blogs, wikis, web-rings, sites organized around a topic that allow for comments, etc. Almost anything that links people together could be a form of social networking. MySpace and Facebook are excellent (and well-known) examples, but the theme of social networking extends broadly.
--Here you've got a section on "Contextual Factors Which Give Rise to This Trend." I think "Individuality" could fit under here, too. So this whole section might use some reorganizing. I also notice, below, you've got information on past forms of social networking--it seems that this could be part of social/cultural changes. You might assign one or two team members to go through the wiki as a whole--to try to look at it as a single document--since this might open up your perspectives a bit, especially if you've largely been focusing on your own sections.
--The individuality section here is a good example of the kind of societal/cultural factor you should be focusing on. What changes in society have led to changes in how we do social networking? Have changes in social networking altered the way society functions? How have people (and technology) changed social networking and how have social networking technologies changed people?
--Overall, this section does need some work. This is just an initial draft, so that's fine, and I understand that at least one team member has been delayed in completing his/her section, but do take my above comments into account as you continue working. Pay special attention to how you're going to organize this section, and if it might make more sense to organize it differently or combine it with other sections.

Digital Technologies and Their Uses
--So this section is on digital technologies and their uses, but then we start off with pre-technology, and other technologies that we probably wouldn't call digital. You're giving more of a history of social networking than a description of how digital technologies are being employed in social networking. This is fine, of course--there's value in a historical perspective here--but here's another point where some re-organizing might be in order.
--As I'm reading this, I see that this history might make more sense at the beginning of the wiki, perhaps after the introduction? This would make the point straightaway that people have socially networking forever, really, but what's changing is that digital technologies are now being used for it. The question then becomes, "How is the use of digital technology affecting the way in which contemporary humanity networks socially?" Going through this history also gives you a chance to be pretty clear on what you actually mean by 'social networking.' That we're not just talking about MySpace here.
--Note that the recreational activities and organizations sections are very similar. Here's another point where one or two "Big Picture" people might contribute to the cohesion of the project.
--I'm not sure how the organizations sections fits into the flow here. You seem to be organizing around the development of technology--pre-technology, to early technology, etc. But organizations span all these eras. You might use the organizations as a framing device--how have various organizations socially networked in different eras? Or you might have one section for Kinds of social networking and one section for Sites of social networking. Give this some thought. For a project of this scope, organization is probably just as important as content. You might have brilliant content (and I think you do here), but if it's not organized well, it'll get lost in a mass of information. We might think of knowledge as organized information, and wisdom as knowledge in a critical perspective. We're aiming for wisdom on social networking here.
--Now we're getting into digital technology...this section should be fairly well developed, since this is describing the technologies we're most interested in for this project. You probably don't need to say what computers are--we're most interested in how computers have been used (since the 'beginning') for social networking. We jump right to blogs, email, and so forth, but online bulletin boards were perhaps the earliest use of computers for social networking, as were early online games. A more comprehensive history of how digital technology has contributed to social networking (and how a drive for social networking led to new technologies) might be in order here.
--What's interesting to me is that you actually don't have a section here devoted to MySpace and/or Facebook. I think you definitely need something here, since these are the most prominent and well recognized examples of social networking today. Most people wanting to know more about social networking are going to want to know more about these sites. Also, throughout this section, if you're talking about something available on the internet (e.g., Second Life, Wii, Facebook), consider linking directly to those sites, so that the user can jump right to an example of what you're talking about. Again, this is one of the strengths of using a wiki over paper. Here's yet another spot where "Big Picture" team members could come in handy--they could scour the wiki for things that might deserve links. The more I go through this, the more I think assigning one or two people to 'manage' the wiki would make sense. (Sometimes organizational schemes or divisions of labor don't become clear until you're already engaged in a project.)
--You say the biggest problem is security. What about problems with identity, with virtuality, etc.? Security is certainly an issue, but I wonder if it's really the biggest problem. (And of course, security was mentioned earlier--another spot where sections might be combined.)
--Here you seem to be talking largely about how technology was used for social networking...is there a vice versa here? Has a need for social networking led to new technologies? And how have elements of society been using these technologies? (Businesses, churches, academia, etc.) There's an interaction effect between society and technology, and I'm not sure this is represented fully here.
--This section works as a history, but see my comments above. I think some important social networking sources are being glossed over and some of this information might best appear summarized in an introduction. There's no one way to do this, but consider what makes sense.

Educational Opportunities and Possibilities with Social Networking
--As a general statement, I wonder if you might combine the opportunities and challenges sections. I say this because for many of the issues you raise present both opportunities AND challenges. There's an upside to distance learning, and a downside, I'd say. For instance, distance learning might lead to increased access, but it might also lead to less effective teaching, if not done well. Also, perhaps social networking allows people to connect across city, country, continent; but is this really the same as connecting in person? I'm just trying to give a sense here of how you might structure these issues as offering both opportunities and challenges. You can play the opps and challenges against one another and then point out where you stand.
--Might help to have some examples under the "Connecting Classrooms" section. Why is this an example of social networking?
--The distance learning section is helpful, but be clear why this is social networking. How is social networking used within distance learning programs? Is social networking an explicit emphasis in distance learning? You might have some personal experiences to share here.
--This section is reading more like a "how communication technologies can be used in education" than "how social networking technologies can be used in education." IM and chat and video conferencing are certainly aspects of social networking, but these alone do not build a network. Expand this a bit--how could Facebook offer educational opportunities? How could discussion forums offer educational opportunities? How could online games offer educational opportunities?
--Do try to give examples of how these technologies have been used, if you can find them.
--Podcasts certainly offer edu. opps. How do they contribute to social networking? How do they link students into a network? Remember to connect things to the theme.
--Collaborative projects seem like a key way that social networking could be used in education--it'd be a good way to link people up to work on projects, for instance. I'd say more about this, if you can.
--Blogs, wikis--try to say more here, since these have more distinctly social networking aspects. Remember that we're talking about technologies that are SOCIAL and that NETWORK people. IM is social, but does it contribute to a network? The internet is a network, but is it always social? Again, answer these sorts of questions as you wish, but make sure that you're clear about what counts as social networking.
--How are Edu Opportunities different from Edu Possibilities here?
--How are iPods part of social networking? PDAs? Are they being used in social networking? The cell phones I can see, sort of, but this isn't explained fully.
--The MySpace.com section might be expanded--even if you can't find examples of how these have been used educationally, do some brainstorming.
--Ebay is an interesting idea--but how is this social networking? Be clear.
--The hypothesis section is interesting, and you might expand on this.

Educational Challenges with Social Networking
--Your challenges section focuses on access, discipline, and behavior.
--Access is certainly a challenge, though this seems to extend all across technology, and so you have to be clear how it particularly effects social networking technologies. The access issue is presented pretty generally here (and remember that we have a whole group devoted to Access issues). So you might say something like, "The educational opportunities are potentially great, but they would require every student being able to access social networking sites, which is unlikely due to funding inequities." The challenges section should look at what challenges specifically arise from Social Networking technologies.
--The Discipline section is good--it focused specifically on social networking. You might now evaluate the way discipline is being handled. What would you recommend for disciplinary issues related to social networking? What would you do when students posted disparaging information about teachers, administrators (or one another) on social networking sites?
--Should school computers be used to access social networking sites? I don't see this addressed specifically, but this is a major issue, since legislation has been proposed that ties federal school funding to the banning of access to social networking sites in schools.
--The behavior section is interesting, though I'm not sure why this is a specifically educational challenge. Might expand this more, or place it under cultural/social context.
--Cyber-bullying makes sense here...might develop this more.
--Addiction...again, not necessarily specifically educational, but I can see why it's here. You mention this test, but what do you mean by addiction? Why is that a bad thing (usually addiction is a bad thing)?

General Comments
--Your wiki is hyper-organized. I wouldn't necessarily say this is a bad thing, but: 1) Consider paring down the outline that appears at the top--you may not need so many sub-sections there. 2) Consider whether some of these sections could be folded into one another, or why a section is broken down the way it is. For instance, why is 'changing communication style' broken into 'importance of the visual/iconic' and 'social/economic/cultural patterns'? The second subtopic here is quite broad, and could the importance of the visual be a social/cultural pattern? The organizational choices are yours to make, of course, but be sure that there's a clear rhyme and reason for the scheme you choose.
--I see that some of the sub-sections aren't 'filled out' yet. Will you fill these out in the final version? Do you need all these sub-sections? Be sure that there's enough to say under each sub-section to warrant its inclusion as a separate section.
--Generally, there's not yet a lot of critical reflection here. You've compiled a good amount of information, but be sure that you're offering alternative perspectives on that information, including your own.
--Consider my suggestion about "Big Picture" team members. I say plenty about this above, so I'll say no more here.
--You've clearly put some work in here, so good job. Do pay attention to the comments I made throughout, as I think they'll be helpful. If I could boil down all my comments to a few, here's what I'd say:
1. Make sure the wiki works as a 'big picture.' Carefully consider organization.
2. Make sure that you are focusing on the theme of social networking and not just talking about technology generally. You may have to talk about technology generally, of course, to make your points, but the focus here should always be on social networking.
3. The educational sections need some work, I think. They really are the most important part of the project.
4. Throughout, there needs to be more of your group in the project. You've compiled information; now comment on it. In the educational sections, how would YOU change educational policy to take social networking into account? How would you control the challenges that come with social networking? What are some specific ways you could see using social networking in educational settings? Read the evaluation document again (should be accessible on your Moodle) and be sure that you're doing everything on there.
--This is a good step in the process, but some sections need to be more developed, organization should be considered, and we need more of a critical edge here. Keep up the good work!